Bereavement Support

Creative activities allow for something tangible to be created to remember our loved one, and also provide a great opportunity to talk together.

Here are a sample of meaningful activities for the whole family:

• Create a scrapbook including pictures, mementos, and letters.
• Create a memory quilt including patches from their clothes and t-shirts.
• Create a memory box by decorating the outside and placing special items inside.
• Create a memorial cookbook with favorite recipes and stories of special meals.
• Decorate a bottle to hold a message. Have your child write a special message to their loved one and place it in the bottle. Decorate and seal the bottle and display in your home.
• Create or buy a blank journal for writing and drawing feelings.
• Read together. Read anything, not only stories of grief and loss. The closeness of reading together does wonders and allows for conversations and memories to flow.
• Suggest practical actions readers can try to help manage sadness and stress.

Sometimes we become overwhelmed with our feelings. It can help to slow down and refocus our attention.

These activities, often called ‘grounding’ techniques, are available to us all:

• Simple Counting: Count to 10 and back again slowly. Repeat as needed.
• 4x4 Breathing: Take slow deep breaths. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4 and hold for a count of 4.
• 5-4-3-2-1 Senses: Simply name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste.
• 3 Things: Pick a color and scan your space and find three things of that color. Name them aloud to yourself.
• Comfort stone: Find a smooth small stone that you can fit comfortably in the palm of your hand. Hold it and breathe deeply.
• Body Scan: Scan your body from head to toe to notice areas of tension or sensation. Linger with areas of tension and breathe into them.
• Touch: Place your palm on your heart and breathe. Place your palm on any part of your body that could use calming attention and breathe.
• Listen: How many different sounds can you hear in 30 seconds?
• Visualize: Imagine a safe and calming place in a beautiful natural area- by the ocean, by a river, in a forest, on a mountain. What do you see, smell, hear?
• Smell: A favorite fruit, spice or essential oil. Breathe deep.
• Thoughts: Try saying these statements to yourself. I am safe, this too shall pass, I can handle this, I have the right to my grief.
• Move: Walk, stretch, run, march in place, tap feet, swing arms, dance to music.
• Breathe: Feel your breath as it enters your nose, flows into your throat and fills your body. Notice it flowing on the way out too.
• Relax: Progressively relax all your muscles, one group at a time. Start with a head massage and relax your ears, eyes, jaw, tongue, shoulders, arms, belly, legs, feet and toes.
• Cold Water: A cold water splash does wonders! To add intensity, try a washcloth in icy cold water, or rub an ice cube directly on your arms or forehead.

Rituals offer so much to our lives. They can provide structure and meaning to life’s joyful and tragic transitions. They connect us with ancient traditions and remind us we are part of something larger. They connect us with our community of supportive people, and evoke meaning, healing, and forgiveness.

Creating our own rituals does not have to be complicated. It can be simple and still provide comfort. Bring an open mind and a nonjudgmental attitude as you create and find the elements that suit you.

Here are some ritual items to consider:

• Candles add light, hope, and spirit
• Incense purifies and creates a special atmosphere
• Flowers bring beauty and remind of life’s impermanence
• Water represents renewal and the flow of life
• Bells mark the beginning or end of a ceremony and provide soothing sounds
• Special goblets create unique and beautiful containers
• Offering plates hold special items of meaning and significance
• Special clothes set apart the ritual from ordinary time
• Religious items (rosary beads, prayer shawls, singing bowls…) connect us with tradition
• Sacred texts add significance through poems or prayers
• Sacred oils sanctify and mark a life transition
• Outdoor fires encourage community and bring light, hope and spirit
• Drums and other instrumental music add energy (calming and joyful) and create beauty
• Songs help us remember sweet times and can bring our loved ones near
• Special seeds or plants can symbolize healing and blessing
• Special flags or banners bear meaning and create a special atmosphere